The Misadventures of Roman and Neo
by RWBYBlackFlames
Summary: Being Vale's Number 1 criminal can lead to some rather strange things, and Roman and Neo are strange people. It's time for the misadventures of Roman and Neo! HIATUS


Hey guys, **RWBYBlackFlames** here and welcome to The Misadventures of Roman and Neo, basically the chaos that happens when we leave those psycho's alone. I hope you enjoy!

=O=

**1**

**The Murder Break**

=O=

For Roman Torchwick, everyday was filled with chaos, killing, robbing and the cops, not necessarily in that order. However, there was one day that Roman could not wait for. And that day was today. It started off just as a normal day for the average joe, but everyone in Roman's criminal family new what this day was. After waking up his mute partner, the two made their way to Cinder's lair, to which they were greeted with Cinder herself, as well as her companions Emerald and Mercury.

"Hello Roman, Neo... Nice of you to stop by." said Cinder as the two walked in. No matter how many times he dealt with the fiery woman, he still couldn't help but shiver as he knew what she was capable of. Roman's cockiness soon took over however.

"It is, isn't it? Now I'm off, it's that time of the month again, I'm taking Neo as well." said Roman.

"Alright, I will see you tomorrow. Don't be late." said Cinder, waving them off, confusing Mercury and Emerald. It wasn't like Cinder to let Roman do as he pleased.

"Hey Cinder, why are you letting Torchdick run off? Don't tell me you're getting soft on us." said Mercury.

"Oh haha Mercury, but I'm the one who's going to be laughing at the end of the day while Cinder slaves you off to do Monty knows what while I'm drinking Pina Coladas with Neo here." laughed Roman dryly as he walked off with his multi-colored comrade.

"I'd tell you what this is, but you'll know what you need to know when you need to know it." said Cinder as she walked off, leaving her comrades confused on what had just occurred.

=O=

Blake was walking around the city of Vale looking for something. For what, you may ask. Simply Roman Torchwick, one of Vytal's biggest dust stealers. It was a Saturday, so her fellow team members were also prowling, looking for the smooth criminal, and right now she was interrogating a cigar salesmen.

"Have you ever seen Roman Torchwick in this store?" asked Blake. It was common knowledge that Roman loved his cigars almost more than everything else, so Blake had taken to searching the stores that sold cigars that Roman smoked.

"I can't say that missy. Customer loyalty, haven't you heard of it?" asked the salesman, as another man entered the store. Blake didn't even flinch.

"Are you defending a criminal? That could get you into some serious trouble..." said Blake.

"I see that you aren't out to play. Blackmailing is pretty low, you know. Especially for a huntress." said the salesman, looking at Blake with uninterest.

"This man is stealing all the dust from here to Vacao and you won't lift a finger to say yes or no to help?" shouted Blake angrily. This wasn't the first salesman that refused to cooperate and it was starting to get onto her nerves.

"I appreciate the compliment kitty cat, but if you aren't buying something can you move out of the way? Some of us have places to be." said a familiar voice. Blake stepped back and low and behold, there was the man she'd been looking for in the flesh. Blake almost didn't believe it as he walked up to the counter.

"Hey buddy, do you have the cigars?" asked Roman as he leaned on the counter.

"Of course, I'm always prepared for this time of the month..." said the salesman with a chuckle as went under the counter and pulled out a bag of high quality cigars. Blake recovered from her momentary delay and in less than half a second had Gambol Shroud's blade at Roman's neck.

"Don't move or my blade will become best friends with your neck." growled Blake at Roman with anger.

"Hey, I haven't done anything yet. Back off kitty, I'm just here with honest intentions, cross my heart." said Roman as pushed the blade away, which Blake didn't appreciate, reinserting itself next to the orange haired criminals neck.

"Why do I not believe you?" growled Blake, angry and happy. Angry that Roman would dare claim innocence after all he's done whilst happy to have caught Vytal's most wanted.

"Oy, little lady, don't make me call the cops. They don't take too kindly to hostage situations." said the salesman, with a hand under the desk at what Blake assumed to be a panic button. She then lowered her blade.

"Thanks kitty, I'm glad you could see it my way, but if you really want to get your justice, I'll be at the La Mein's, which is across the From Dust till Dawn's that I robbed a while back at 8, wait till then until you do your vigilante justice." said Roman as he pulled out some lien and payed for the cigars, shocking Blake again.

"Now if you will excuse me..." said Roman as he walked out of the store, furthering Blake's shock at what Roman just did. This was one strange Saturday...

=O=

Yang was looking around a supermarket. Why, you may ask? Simply put, Blake thought that she had a lead on Roman Torchwick's whereabouts and more or less coerced her teammates to come and help her. Yang wasn't a big fan of this, as she had planned to watch a monster movie marathon with Ruby and the rest of her team, but now she was looking for Roman and she couldn't just abandon her partner to search on her own, so Yang decided that a supermarket where Yang could get junk food was the most likely place for Roman to be, and now she was 'searching' through the frozen sections.

"I could be watching Kamizilla vs Emporer Monkey, but now I have to 'look' for Roman Torchwick. I thought that Blake had let that go after the dance..." said Yang as she rounded the corner. It seems that Yang's search had come up with something as she saw the familiar pink and brown hair at the dairy section, more specifically where the ice cream was. Yang almost ran over to beat the everliving hell out of Roman's comrade, but found something funny.

"You've got to be kidding me..." said Yang to herself as she saw Neo struggle to reach the neapolitan flavored ice cream at the top of the freezer and ultimately fail. After a few moments, she burst out laughing at the scene. Neo, who had beaten Yang easily was now failing to win because of her height. Neo turned around and glared at Yang with a pouty face, obviously not happy.

"What's wrong short stuff, can't reach the competition?" said Yang whilst chuckling before receiving a stomped foot for her puns.

"...!" Neo then pointed at the ice cream angrily, still not saying a word. If someone had went up to Yang this morning and said that she would help out the person that beat her up, she would've laughed before punching them. Hard. But now she was helping her archenemy relieve her sweet tooth because of her height. Yang handed off the ice cream tub to Neo, who practically glowed with happiness, almost like Ruby and her cookies before walking towards the cash register, with Yang in tow grabbing a few bags of chips before following with curiosity.

"Will that be all?" asked the cashier, to which Neo nodded happily.

"That'll be 11 Lien." said the cashier. Yang thought for a moment that Neo would steal it, but was surprised when she pulled out the prerequested Lien and paying it, before walking off. Yang quickly paid for her food before following her outside.

"...!" Neo was happily walking out of the store when Yang stopped her.

"What's up today? Is it national reverse day?" asked Yang in disbelief.

"...?" Neo looked confused at that.

"Aren't you Roman's robber in law? If so, why didn't you steal that ice cream?" asked Yang. Neo thought about it for a moment before she answered.

"...!" Neo pointed to Yang's scroll, which was halfway out of Yang's pocket before skipping away.

"Wait!" Aaaaand Neo shattered apart, with no signs of the multi-colored girl anywhere. A second later, and Yang's scroll went off, with the caller being Blake in a group call.

"Guys, you'll never believe this..."

=O=

As Roman ate his noodles, he looked around and noticed that Neo hadn't shown up yet. She usually was on time when it came today.

"I hope that little squirt didn't get held- AH! God damn Neo, you need a bell..." Roman had turned back and his comrade was sitting next to him, that's one thing he didn't like about Neo's semblance, there was no real way to track her...

"...?" asked Neo.

"Of course there's enough noodles. Hey, another bowl of noodles for the multi-colored lady please and another for myself." said Roman, to which the chef nodded before going to the kitchen.

"...?"

"Of course I got my cigars, see? How about you?" Roman showed his bag, before putting it back into his pocket.

"...!" Neo pulled out the tub of ice cream from Monty knows where, and Roman sighed.

"Thank goodness it's dust insulated or it'd have gone bad already. I swear, if I didn't already know your name, I'd swear your name is Neopolitan based off how much you love the stuff..." said Roman rubbing the back of his head.

"...!" Neo glared at him.

"I know... I like it too, but I'd think that you'd have a limit. I swear, if you ate it any faster you'd become lactose intolerant." said Roman, earning a horrified look from Neo with double silver eyes at the hint of her losing her favorite treat. Not a good think if you knew Neo.

"Hey, I was just joking. Jeez Neo, do you have an ice cream fetish or something?" Neo blushed like a rose at Roman's comment, which lead to Roman laughing, Neo glaring and subsequently stomping Roman's foot.

"Ah... son of a... I had that coming, didn't I?" said Roman, to which Neo nodded. Roman then remembered something, he couldn't put his finger on it though. It was like an annoying bee, flying out of range, what was it that he was supposed to remember.

"TIME TO APPREHEND YOU ROMAN TORCHWICK! YOUR SPREE OF CRIME ENDS HERE!" shouted Ruby as her little group barged into the shop with weapons drawn, earning a dry look from Roman, whom had noodles in his mouth, before he motioned them to sit next to him before turning back around. The people who were inside returned to their conversations as if Ruby's outburst never happened.

"I knew I forgot something. You didn't have anything to do with this, did you Neo?" asked Roman, to which Neo gave an innocent look back.

"What's up with you Torchwick, you've been doing nothing wrong all day, and you're the guy who robs for a living!" said Ruby.

"Listen Red, when you rob as much as I do, steal and kill as much as I do, when you are Vale's most wanted, the life of excitement sometimes becomes bland, and you get thrown off your game." said Roman, eating some more noodles between sentences, earning an underhand comment about manners from the hieress.

"What does that mean?" asked Ruby confused.

"Sometimes I need to move slower, so every month I take a day off to live a normal life. A Murder Break, if you will. You can only go so fast before you have to slow down. Besides, eating 30 second ramen everyday can get bland." said Roman, eating more noodles, to which Neo from next to Roman nodded.

"I guess that's why they call you Ramen Torchwick!" said Yang offhandedly, earning glares from everyone.

"I swear to Oum, people like you make me want to end my murder break..." said Roman as he ate more noodles, finishing off the bowl.

"So the fact that no-one seemed to care that you were in the building was because..." said Blake.

"Was because I've had my breaks for a long time, so as long as I don't have some goons to help me rob, they usually assume it's that time of the month again." said Roman, before looking at Neo.

"You ready Neo?" asked Roman, before Neo nodded and pointed to a mountain of empty bowls, to which everyone sweat dropped.

"Sweet Oum Neo, where do you put the stuff?" said Roman, looking at the small girl and the mountain of bowls.

"Well girls, I'll see you the next time you try to foil my plans!" said Roman as he left quite a bit of lien on the table, to which the chef took immediately, only to see it wasn't an illusion.

"Wait!" Ruby ran out to grab Roman's jacket to stop him only for it to shatter along with Roman and Neo. There was silence for a moment before Ruby spoke up.

"Well, seems like everyone needs a break. Now, who's up for some noodles!" said Ruby, to which the remainder of the team agreed.

=O=

"I suppose the trip went well Torchwick? If so, you have a busy schedule so hurry up! Perhaps if you work efficiently enough, we can schedule the break days for twice a month..." said Cinder, looking at the two pleased faces.

"You know, if I could get another day like today sooner, I'll rob the Bank of Dust. Now, let's go see what's gonna happen today!" said Roman with a happy attitude, to which Neo cheered. It was a good day for Roman.

=O=

Hey guys, I hoped you liked it, I'm just going to be throwing random stories with Roman, Neo and Criminal Crew, but if you have suggestions, be sure to let me know. Other than that, Black Flames out!


End file.
